I couldn’t sleep last night, and like most people when you can’t sleep - you start scrolling (which is ironic cause this actually doesn’t help but oh well).
Somehow I ended up on families sharing their stories about losing a loved one. One video after another, people talking about losing a spouse, a parent, and now it’s 3:26 in the morning and I am crying in my bed.
To top things off I get a notification from my local news and again, another family, another person, and suddenly it just didn’t feel like “other people” anymore.
What stuck with me wasn’t just the loss. It was everything that came after. The confusion. The panic. The comments filled with, “We never talked about this,” and “I had no idea what to do next.”
It made me realize how much we avoid this conversation. Death feels like something you’re not supposed to think about. Like if you plan for it, you’re being dramatic, or pessimistic, or inviting something bad in.
But lying there last night, I had this quiet realization.
Not talking about it doesn’t protect your family. It just leaves them unprepared.
The families that seemed the most overwhelmed weren’t the ones who lost someone. They were the ones who lost someone and had no plan waiting for them on the other side of it.
That thought sat with me longer than I expected.
So this isn’t a dramatic email. And it’s not meant to scare you.
It’s just me being honest about something that hit me last night, and a conversation I think more families should have… before they’re forced to.
I thought it might be helpful to you all to know what Wesley and I have in place, and we don’t have anything crazy fancy, but we do have some realistic and helpful plans in place.
The Most Important… Life Insurance
This was something we both have on each other, if something happens to either of us, neither of us are thrown into financial panic, bills are paid, house isn’t lost, income is more than replaced, and life won’t fall apart financially.
Clear Plan For The Kids
this was more so about who would help, but also about how we would make life as normal as possible for them. Our goals/plans for the kid’s futures, and just how we would do our best help them feel safe if everything changed in such a big way.
For The Kids
We also recorded videos of us telling them we love them, believe in them, etc. Wesley actually recorded “if you’re watching this…” style videos for them. God forbid they watch them anytime soon, but even if the worst happens we wanted them to have photos and videos of us letting them know they are so loved.
Bills & Account CLARITY
We put all our logins, account numbers, and basically anything important we would need to access in a safe place along with our budget/bill breakdown so we know exactly what’s coming out when… we update this annually.
Preferences
And the most brutal… what we want done/how, along with an idea of how much it would cost. Won’t go into specifics here, but if something were to happen to either of us, we wanted to respect each other’s wishes and yes we both planned different things.
This is also why Wesley does what he does.
Not because insurance is exciting. And definitely not because he wants families thinking about worst-case scenarios all day.
It’s because he understands what actually happens after a loss.
Most families don’t need something complicated. They need a few very specific problems solved.
Income replacement
If one of us wasn’t here, the other would still need groceries, childcare, gas, and everyday life covered. Income replacement simply means there’s money coming in so the surviving parent isn’t immediately forced into survival mode or rushed decisions.
Mortgage protection
This is about keeping the house. Not downsizing in grief. Not worrying about monthly payments while everything else is upside down. It’s peace of mind knowing your kids can stay in the home they know.
Final expense coverage
Funerals are expensive. Shockingly expensive. This makes sure those costs are handled without putting financial pressure on the surviving spouse or family during an already heartbreaking time.
That’s what Wesley helps families figure out. Not in a pushy way. Just in a “let’s make sure this makes sense for your life” way.
If you’ve ever wondered what coverage would actually look like for your family, or if what you have now even does what you think it does, you can learn more here:
wesleynysmlife.com
Even understanding your options is a step most people never take.
Okay, that was a lot.
If you made it to the end, thank you for trusting me with a heavier conversation. We’ll be back to normal, lighter stuff soon. Doing my best to send these out as often as I can, 3 kids is CRAZY.
As always, you can hit reply and talk to me. I really do read them all.
Love,
Candace